Published by M R. X. Dentith
Author of "The Philosophy of Conspiracy Theories" (Palgrave Macmillan), M wrote their PhD on epistemic issues surrounding belief in conspiracy theories. They are a frequent media commentator on the weird and the wonderful, both locally and internationally. On occasion they can be caught dreaming about wax lions but, mostly, it is rumoured they work for elements of the New World Order.
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Potential defendants,
Plaintiff requires you cease and desist any additional attempts at various American accents, as yours are beyond redemption. Otherwise we will be forced to deploy legal process to commit your single or several persons to a phonology asylum. Prospects for release are dim indeed. This is our first, single and last warning.
Yours,
Anderson and Lee, at Law
Given how big and diverse the USA is, I’m confident that one of the six plus “American” accents I “performed” will turn out to reflect at least one US citizen somewhere. The fact those six accents were confined to only three “characters” is immaterial!
The 1930s gangster, m a y b e. The rest–utterly unrecognizable. Besides, accents are a group characteristic, not a freak pattern within one individuals weird pronunciation distortion.
Have a good new year. And cease and desist, well, whatever you want to!