Category: morthos

Unexpected Papal Bull

It’s no secret that you’re incompetent at your job. We all are. It doesn’t matter how ‘competence’ is defined; you, like everyone else, are, have and always be, incompetent in what you do.

That is the little secret that keeps society afloat.

I’m not going to float any ideas of relative competence; everyone at some stage is more competent than someone else at a particular task. Relative competence is just an excuse for your lack of competence. So, at some stage you did better than someone else. Big hooey. What exactly does that mean? Are you always better? No. Have you been ‘better on average?’ I wouldn’t say ‘Yes’ unless you have some quasi-magical survey to prove it. The answer, therefore, is ‘No.’ Let’s not even broach the idea that you might be, in the future, better. An incompetent like you… No chance.

Worry not, though. I’m incompetent. Highly paid, well-esteemed and very powerful. And incompetent. There’s not a moment that passes that I don’t think ‘I could be doing this better, faster, harder and with more verve.’ Admittedly my ratio of mistakes-to-moments-of-genius is ridiculously weighted towards the genius side. When they come to write my history you can be sure that all the adjectives will be friendly, glowing and fabulous.

But I’m still incompetent. I shudder to say it, but I’m not perfect, and imperfection entails incompetence. I make mistakes. I wore a green tie with a teal suit once and, as an undergrad, admittedly, I wore those Swedish boating shoes that will never be fashionable.

Which is why I really do regret that we have to let you all go. As one incompetent to another I sympathise. As your pontifical overlord, however, I have a responsibility to the committee.

By which I mean to myself, since the committee has no sway over me, seeing that they, like you, are incompetent bastardos.

Be Seeing You.

Emo hate is good, clean fun

What They Don’t Want You to Know

In order to understand Selectivism you need to realize that everything is controlled by the Neo-Catholics who are made up of gypsies with help from the Turks.

The conspiracy first started during sinking of the Rainbow Warrior in Arkansas. They have been responsible for many events throughout history, including King Harold inventing the lollipop

Today, members of the conspiracy are everywhere. They can be identified only by raping cat

They want to force Omar Sharif into being emo and they plan to imprison resisters in Tokoroa via airships.

In order to prepare for this, we all must begin splunking. Since the media is controlled by Mormons we should get our information from John Hood.

Courtesy of the The Conspiracy Generator

Shameless Promotion

There’s a new blog about; so new, in fact, that only the author has heard of it. It’s call ‘All Embracing But Underwhelming’ and it’s a blog about Conspiracy Theories. Well, it’s a blog on the study of Conspiracy Theories. The author, someone rather close to me, is working on a research project on whether belief in conspiracy theories is warranted and he plans to throw a lot of the raw meat of the project on to the number ne home of Conspiracy Theories, the Internet. Go have a gander and, while you’re at it, add it to whatever RSS-related thingamajig you are using.

‘All Embracing But Underwhelming’

Papalfluids

“You, sir, you are a limp-wristed nancy!”

Today I visited the Vatican; saw the Pope on his Popemobile (probably needed the extra height to spy fresh prey to feed off of) and saw the major sites of Roman Catholicism. The above image, available on many a postcard, though, really does sum it all up.